Breaking up - The How Not To

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Posted by admin | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 29-08-2009

You see your significant other. That same old familiar feeling hits your stomach just the same as it does when you see a car crash happening seconds before it actually does. You are certain you are about to hear the dreaded break up speech, and a bad taste is soon to be left in someone's mouth. This feeling can go on forever.

Remember meeting the wonderful person you met last year. How you just couldn't sleep until you saw her again. You though everything that came out of her mouth was cute and he was so funny. You had all the same preferences and the world was made by musicians and Willy Wonka. Then, out of nowhere, it all turned sour. All the tulips that were brushed with moonlight had wilted. Romance had all fizzled out. Just the sound of his voice makes you want to scream at times. The way she crinkles her nose reminds you of Mrs. Piggy and sex is non-existent.

It’s believed that in every relationship, there’s at least one time where someone considers The Break Up. Most people focus on the details and ask questions as to why things turned for the worse, but it is not quite as common for somebody to consider what can be done to fix things. It is of course important to try and figure out what happened. However, Wasting your time on what is left under the microscope, is a waste of time. Knowing how to fix things is the most important factor.

The following are the Three Fix Methods that are Doomed to Fail:

1. The Stubborn and Prideful Method
Why in the world should I change? Why should all the work done in this relationship be done by me? This method ensures that no one makes a move to change anything and puts someone in the role as victim. This makes the couple seem as if they're rivals.

2. Mexican Stand Off
If he would go to counseling, then I'll go. If she quits, then I'll quit too. This method ensures misery if you stay together and regardless of who decides to break the stare down, breaking up is inevitable.

3. Bait and Switch
This one is the "If you only loved me enough, you would try to change" speech. This method takes all the responsibility off the sender of the message and transfers to the receiver who thinks, If you love me, why do I have to change?

What is amazing is that finding the true solution and the method that has been proven over and over is so basic it sounds cliche'. You need to make changes to YOU. You have been lost in the relationship. The relationship overshadowed you and you’re stagnant in the cesspool of denial and hatred. But, it can all be changed!

The first and most important thing you need to do is stay true to the self that you were before you entered into the relationship. That's who he/she fell in love with. The reason they fell in love was not because you kept things tidy or had a great memory for sentimental moments. It was only because you were the you she fell for.

The second step is to remove all negativity. You will need to learn to forgive and forget. Believe me, once you have worked on you, things will be much easier. Arguing and saying hurtful things puts you right back in the circle of negativity. Before trying to rehash it all one more time, think about this: Do you ever really say anything NEW? Don't you really just re-play the same record in a new location.

And finally, execute! Before any changes are made, however, make sure you're doing it for yourself! Keep this in mind, you simply cannot keep pretending to be a person that you are not. If you are pretending or aren't doing it for yourself, things will not work out. The best part about this is that you can actually start this today.

You will see a big overnight change in your relationship and your love life. You will be seen as you really were before. And you'll just stay busy being yourself. Breaking up will no longer be the answer.

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Comments (1)

Relationships are quite complicated one has to face when in trouble, but it’s also not as bad as one would be led to believe in it.Just try to brush away all those
misunderstandings and believe in the fact of making-up that relationship all you have to do is to start knowing what really went wrong and what made two humans who loved each other in depth to part their ways, is it because of money mis-management or something else . You can always find the answer here.

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