Posted by admin | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 03-11-2009
Okay, let’s agree to differ. For many years it was sought to be established that all humans are the same and hence men and women should be capable of communicating on an equal basis. With the entry of the internet the stakes only rose even more. Now, online dating men are trying to communicate with online dating women. Almost seeming like the “real world” didn’t have its sufficient amount of complications, the cyber-world has now been added into the equation.
The fact is that men and women think differently and therefore they date differently. That they are communicating in the real world of dating or its online equivalent, makes no real difference. Only the conversations that go astray will reveal the differences. So why did he say that to me???? What did she signal through that message? Now do you see where this is going? There are no boundaries to effective communication. Men and women are searching at various levels for common grounds of communication.
Is There Hope?
If you talk to online dating men, the key question becomes: Is there hope of finding common communication ground? Is it possible for online dating men to communicate with online dating women? Or more significantly, whether men can use the tools of communication offered on online dating sites to communicate in a more effective and less “manly” manner.
It is possible to alter the communication of men to make it more suitable to the expectations of women who are looking for a partner or a date. But in order to be practiced effectively, a person must learn how to communicate AND also how to interpret communication. That is, men not only need to be able to express their feeling correctly, but must also be capable of understanding the expressions of emotion they receive in response.
The men who use online dating sites are not apprehensive of using the communication tools available. However, their real-life conversations with each other are way off the language required to be used on dating sites. While men are more intent on putting forth their points, women are looking to express their emotions and hence may respond with a smile. Men tend to take great efforts to hide insecurities but women on the other hand tend to take the burden of communication upon themselves .
Regulating Talk?
Women want to talk about feelings but men are caught up with facts. This is the ancient argument of who is more right brain (more “let’s talk about it) and who is more left-side of the brain ( more “I want to be in control”). Scientists say men are clearly more left brain and that spills over into the online dating scene. It is why you find so many men sending online messages on dating sites that lead to women asking, “Exactly what does he mean by that?”.
These rules can be adopted by men in order to make their online communications more effective.
• Don’t play “macho” from the start as if you are a gift to women
• Do not presume you know the reasons for women using online dating services
• Do use all the communication tools including smiles, flirts, chats, message boards, emails, and whatever else is offered
• Avoid playing games and speak honestly
• Do express interest in the what the other person has to say
• Ask plenty of questions
• Pay regard to the answers to your question
Do these appear simple and practical suggestion to you? They’re meant to be that way! Online dating men who communicate successfully are those who are aware of the impact of their comments and assumptions on their processing of information.
Online dating men have a great advantage over men trying to meet women to date in the real world. They can take their time in processing information before responding to a woman . This is one of the biggest plus points for online dating men.
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