How Do You Start Dating After Twenty Years Of Being With The Same Guy?

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Posted by admin | Posted in Q & A | Posted on 21-11-2009

I was married for 13 years and my husband left me for another woman. How do I start dating again?

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Comments (19)

rkrell said on 22-11-2009

Just start off slowly and don’t expect a whole lot at first. It is extremely hard to get back into dating after having been married for a long time. After my first divorce it really took about a year to start to really have quality dates. The key is to don’t be afraid to ask someone out and put yourself out there. If you take one step at a time you will be just fine in the long run. Trust me, there is plenty of love out there for you to find.

rkrell said on 22-11-2009

the answer is you take time to reflect upon and mourn the death of the relationship and what caused it (marriages don’t start because of one person and they very very seldom end because of one person, remember that). once you do this, cherish your alone time. discover new hobbies, friends, and activities. rediscover your spirituality. that will help. after those things, start dating again, but take things slowly. be honest with yourself (and whomever you are dating) about what you want in a relationship and at what pace you are ready and willing to go. do not badmouth your ex and your marriage. if you can’t stop yourself from doing that, go back to step 1, as you are not ready to be dating. i wish you luck though for your future.

infinite crisis 247 said on 22-11-2009

There will be nothing easy about it, you just have to jump in with both feet and decide that, if you are ever going to find someone else, you will have to put yourself out there again. Take it slow and just get to know people, don’t try to jump right into a relationship. Decide what you want and start casually meeting people in a friendly way. Eventually someone will spark your interest. Good luck!

Deanrijo said on 22-11-2009

Welcome back to the dating world.
I went back after being married for 18 yrs. It felt like I would be alone and never meet anyone. Being alone can be scary after a long relationship. Both Match.com and Cupid.com were helpful though you have to move slowly as there are some definite crackpots out there. Secondly there are a lot of people out there in the same boat. But at the same time if you see someone just start talking and revisit the old social skills. My first hello to a woman turned out she was seeing someone. At the same time she was very flattered that I asked. It helped set my mind that it was not impossible.
I met and am marrying the woman I met on Match.com this month.
Good luck
Lastly for a little while don’t take anything personnally just think of it as a bit of a game. You will be able to tolerate it all alittle easier.

J L said on 22-11-2009
	Go out with your friends.Don’t look for dates and things will fall into place.My husband of 20 yrs left for another woman.It didn’t last very long.He thought I would take him back.What an idiot.I met several great guys.I married again after 5yrs.Just remember he will get his pay back in the end.She will do to him what he has done to you.Good luck.

fernwood said on 23-11-2009
	Wow. I am sorry to hear that. I think all things happen for a reason. Maybe someone way better is in your future. You should start by doing all the things you ever put on hold, while you were married. Get out whenever you get time, so you can meet new people. Take it from there and have fun.

kat said on 23-11-2009
	Don’t feel the need to jump right back into things. It’s ok to be single after something changes that much in your life. When you are ready to start dating again, it will feel fun and exciting and you won’t need advice on “how to.” All my best

soverylo said on 23-11-2009
	I know what you mean, I’m divorced after 31 years, this scares me to go a date with someone, just take it slow, join some clubs and meet people, maybe join a few dating sights to meet people in your area.

kim t said on 23-11-2009
	This is a good start. Communication

Robert G said on 23-11-2009
	Make sure you’re in shape to start with and everything else should fall into place.

bad_timi said on 23-11-2009
	I don’t know…. if you were with that guy for 13yrs… Just start being yourself, make new friend. I’m sure the boys’ll come to you ^^

『Luna』 said on 23-11-2009
	The same way you did when you were married.

Mr.HATE said on 23-11-2009
	Go out with your girlfriends, join a gym, find a new hobby…get out of the house and dont be afraid to talk to people.

Queen of Beer said on 24-11-2009
	Get off the internet and go meet people.

-doozer- said on 24-11-2009
	Take your time.

mizzholl said on 24-11-2009
	I don’t know….. I’ve been married for 20 years too!

Produkte neutral getestet said on 24-11-2009
	take it slow and don;t rush into anything.

gogirl02 said on 24-11-2009
	just be yourself, except be a little more flirty

Provillus said on 24-11-2009
	Its like riding a bike it will all come back to you. this is just a new chapter in your life

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