Posted by admin | Posted in Q & A | Posted on 20-12-2009
My mom died suddenly back in February. It was a bit of a shock even though she was somewhat ill. But I found out that within 3 weeks my Dad was already dating someone else! This absolutely infuriates me!
You are grieving your mother. You will do that in a different way from your father, but he is grieving, too. Anger is a normal response, but try to see his actions as a response to grief, too.
Do you feel he is betraying your mother? It is a normal reaction, but is may very well not be the case. He is all too aware that the earthly relationship wiht your mother is over. I know two men who dated and married soon after their wives of several decades died. As far as I know, nothing was going on before the deaths. It just happened, afterwards.
He may have the need for company and comfort. I hope he will take some time to get to know the new woman and build a relationship with him. It is wise to put off any major life decisions for a year after a major bereavement,
Try to accept each other’s response to your loss without judging. If you cant, please get some grief counseling, so you cna continue a good relationship with your father.
Sorry for your loss.
Honestly, I can see while your mad. I’d be pretty pissed too.
The thing about your dad is that he’s grieving, and even if that’s not how you’d deal with it you have to respect the process. I’m sure he finds it hard and he loved your mom a lot. He’s probably trying to find some comfort in another woman(even though no one will ever be able to replace your mother).
If your dad is happy then maybe you should wait it out. Your mom would want him to move on and not be moping around.
Then again, if your really bothered by it talk to your dad and express your concerns without attacking his choices.
You have every right to be upset, but you do not mention how long your mother had been ill, nor how ill she was.
The marriage may have been weak for a long time.
Sit down with your dad and tell him how you feel. Listen to his responses with respect and consideration.
You will both benefit from mutual support now.
I don’t know your dad, but he could just be VERY lonely and NEED a woman in his life. Be patient with him and let him grieve in his own way. And try to lighten up on your anger. He is NOT being disrespectful of your mother. She has passed on.
Ask him if you can see a therapist (if you are a minor, if not, see one yourself) to work out your grief and your feelings about this issue.
Good luck, honey.
Anna
Yes it is sad and I am sorry for your loss, but you do not live at home do you and a house at night is very quiet and lonely.
Dad obvious need company and that is what he is seeking just a bit of company. Don’t judge your dad give him some support.
ask him about it. He may be depressed and can not make it on his own, or if it was something that was done by a person’s hands he may have helped. You need to talk before you try to think it over first.
He’s probably trying to forget about her with someone else. That’s how some people deal with depression.
Anyway, who he dates is his business.
He may not be able to handle being alone some people can’t it does not mean he did not love his wife your mother. It just means he does not want to be all alone. Who does?
thats awful!
you should confront him about this.
he needed someone to deal with her death.but still,thats really unfair