Posted by admin | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 28-01-2010
For many people, the first date can be incredibly stressful, but there are some methods of reducing that nervousness to a more acceptable level. First of all take a few deep breaths. In all probability, your date is feeling a little anxious too, and perhaps this is something you can laugh about when you meet.
Take a look at your expectations next. You are in control of how you view your first date. You could think that it as the only chance to get along with this person, and if you don’t then that’s it, forever. This dumps a tremendous amount of stress on your shoulders, and that is far from a good approach. It may be true that this could be your only chance to get to know this person, but if it isn’t meant to be, it won’t be.
But you could decide to look at this first date together as the beginning of a new relationship where this date is the first chance to meet in person and get to know them a little more, and should it not work out, then you shouldn’t worry, there are plenty more dates out there just waiting for you. This way of choosing to look at dates may overcome your anxieties a little more, and help you to have more realistic expectations for this first date. Presumably, what you are aiming for is a second date, provided you get on well together, and then a third, and so on. Don’t rush the relationship. Getting to know someone takes along time, to know how they would react in certain situations, etc. No pressure is needed for your first date!
But, many people want a perfect first date experience, so not only is there anxiety because it is a first date, but they want perfection too. Talk about adding pressure and stress to a situation! Naturally you would like your first date to go well, as in fact it may, be the only date, but some people plan very extravagant first dates to try to impress their date, and then get angry or upset if things not work out as planned.
So, here is some first date advice.
Organize this date carefully, taking into account the length of time for the date (shorter is definitely better), its location, and what you should wear, all things which you can control. If you are planning an outdoor event, it is advisable to have alternative arrangements in place just in case the weather suddenly turns bad – ladies who have spent hours on their hair and makeup will not thank you if they get wet through, and they end up looking bedraggled on their first date with you!
Plan something which gives you and your date chance to talk in comfortable surroundings – not a huge concert that would have you shouting to get yourself heard, even though you are sat next to one another. Pick something that will have you both relaxed. This means don’t make a reservation for dinner at a top class fancy restaurant when you know that you are very uncomfortable in this setting. Instead select something that adds to your comfort level, not diminishes it. A more relaxed atmosphere usually gives a better chance for you both get to know one another a little better, with fewer anxieties.
To summarize, there are just a few words of advice for you for that perfect first date, relax and take pleasure in getting to know your date, and if unexpected things happen, just laugh them off. First dates are not a time to show extreme anger or tears! – and best of luck.
