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After much nail-biting and pacing, you’ve finally made the decision to join an online dating service. Now you face the seemingly monumental task of writing your personals ad. Sheesh, you say. How do I do this—especially when the personals you’ve taken the time to read through are so, well, let’s be honest, awful. All those abbreviations! All those long paragraphs! All the fluff that a over-sexed seventh-grade boy could see right through!

The trick to writing personals ads …

…that get noticed are to be original and creative when it comes to writing yours. Think about it. Does a Volkswagen ad read like a Mercedes ad?

Of course not. That’s because though they’re both cars, they are completely different cars—just like two short, blonde women or two tall, brunette men. Other than sharing some physical characteristics and being the same sex, they’re going to be as different as a BMW and a Jeep.

So before you even start pecking away at the keyboard, think of yourself as a brand. This is easier for most people if they stick with the car metaphor. If you were a car, what kind would you be? If you consider yourself to be a Beemer, then your personals ad should be written to highlight your Beemer-ish characteristics. For example, you’d want to include your love of fine white wines and Prada shoes.

On the other hand, if you’re a Beemer wannabe (and don’t feel bad, many of us are), don’t give in to the impulse to describe yourself as Beemer. Not only does this set other people up for a disappointment when they find out you don’t share their interests or meet their expectations, you may, worse, get stuck having to drink a lot of red wine at a cocktail party or theater when you’d really, honestly prefer is cold beer, pizza and a movie.

After you’ve defined yourself as a brand and can describe yourself thoroughly, from your tires to your, er, headlights, you’re ready to start writing that personals ad. You’ve already done all the hard work, so the writing will be very easy. And you didn’t think it would be, did you?

Some other things you want to keep in mind as you write your personals ad are:

• Keep it positive. That is, unless you want to attract someone who reads Sylvia Plath poems for kicks. Which, hey, is no problem if that’s your idea of a good time.

• Be short and to the point. This isn’t the place for your life history. Let that part come later.

• While keeping it short, don’t overdo the abbreviations. A few are fine, but too many are irritating.

• Hit your high spots. If you have the sleek lines of a Jag, say so. If you’re as trustworthy and loyal as a Toyota, speak up! Let your chrome wheels shine!

• Voice your passions. Yep, if you’re wild about 4-wheeling to the point you’d rather than have mud on your tires than eat when you’re hungry, don’t be afraid to say so.

• Creativity rules. You’re clever. Just that fact that you’ve found this marvelous way to meet people and find dates shows it! So you want to stay away from clichés in your writing, and think of new, fresh ways to describe yourself and your attributes. Saying you’re loyal will most likely get a yeah, yeah, but say that when it comes to your friends, you stick like mud on tires, now that will have people eager to know more about you.

Following these tips will help you write a personals ad that won’t just be noticed—it’ll guarantee you not only get replies, you’ll get dates!

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There is nothing quite like it. You are out on a date, and suddenly both parties run out of things to say. The remainder of the date is a seemingly endless gauntlet of foiled conversation attempts and stretched out silences, and at the end of the night both of you know that you will probably never attempt a make up with that person.

Awkward silences can be a killer when it comes to dating; not only have you lost a prospective relationship, you have also wasted an evening. …

The great shame of it is, most dates have no reason at all for these awkward silences. There should always be something to talk about, and even the chronically shy can find some topic to keep the night proceeding smoothly.

The thing about a date is that it is no different than any other part of life. No matter what you are doing, there will be something to talk about. If you find yourself running out of conversation, then try to for an easy topic by focusing on the date itself- you might talk about the food or the scenery in a restaurant, your feelings on the movie you just saw. Once the conversation gets rolling, it will probably begin to stretch out into other areas and soon enough you will find that the evening is flying by. A great way to measure the quality of the conversation is by the amount of laughter between you. Laughter indicates a high level of comfort and enjoyment, so if you are both laughing chances are that the date is going well.

There are several things worse than awkward silences, if truth be told. A person trying too hard to overcome the silence may wind up making a serious ass out of herself. Know the difference between an awkward silence and a comfortable or reflective one. A reflective silence, following a particularly good point or part of the conversation, can be an even better indicator of the positive outcomes of the date than even laughter is.

Never break a silence by starting to talk about how wonderful you are. Feel free to begin by talking about yourself, but be sure to include your date in the topic- ask what he does for a living, if he enjoys it, what the future plans and goals are. This advice should be tripled for men- in fact, it is mostly guys that need to watch the silences on a date. If a girl is talking, then she is probably having a good time and the date will go down as a positive experience.

The key to avoiding an awkward date is to focus on your current conversations instead of thinking about the next topics. Avoid backtracking and keep the conversation moving forward. Above all, make sure that if you haven’t heard your date say a word in a while, that you leave an opening in the conversation for her to respond. Good communication is the key to any relationship, short term or long, and it begins with good conversation.

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Online dating has become a popular service nowadays. In fact, so many people all over the world, mostly singles, are members of various online dating services to find their perfect match. While online dating services have benefits, there are some serious drawbacks to it too. The most important concern is your safety risk. How would you know that the otherwise sweet and loving chat mate of yours you need in an online service turns out to be a rapist or stalker?
Like traditional dating, online dating has some risks. To avoid danger, consider the following tips.

1. In your profile, it is good not to include detailed personal information, such as your personal home address, job address, telephone number, or email address. Dating sites, especially the reputable ones, make sure that all their members are safe. Some do it by checking the criminal records of their members, some automatically deleting any detailed information in your personal profile.

2. It would be good if you know more about the person you just met online before giving him or her any personal information about you. Take some time in knowing him or her first before setting up a date with the person.

3. Don’t put false information in your profile or a fake photograph. If you want people to be honest with you too, be genuine in your information. Honesty is the best policy. A cliché, yes; but it works in online dating.

4. It might be good to have an email account set up in fee email sites like Yahoo or Hotmail. Give this email address to online users who want to have your email, instead of your main email address. In case you don’t want a person to contact you again, then at least your main email address is safe and free from his or her emails.

5. Be wary of people who are lying to you. Be careful of people who:

- Want to meet up with you instantly and pressures you.

- Bug you to give your personal contact details when they themselves don’t want to give you their personal contact information.

- Are not consistent in giving you information about their martial status, age, employment, among others.

- Avoid answering questions that are reasonable directly.

6. If somebody is bothering you already, stop sending him or her messages immediately.

Online dating is fun, but you have to be aware that it also has safety risks as well.

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You are dating a beautiful but a shy girl or one
that is not a talkie. You have already talked
about your hobbies, your families and your jobs
and nothing else come into your mind and she is
not really helping you (that’s what you believe)….

You are dating a beautiful but a shy girl or one
that is not a talkie. You have already talked
about your hobbies, your families and your jobs
and nothing else come into your mind and she is
not really helping you (that’s what you believe).

One of the best ways of having a good, healthy
and wholesome chat with your girlfriend is to
start with small talk. The small talk will give
you a general picture about her likes and
dislikes, as well as what she would like to
discuss and what she would rather leave alone.
Once the small talk gives you a general idea, you
can go ahead and discuss your common likes and
dislikes.

But what is really freaking you are those moment
of silence. Uhh… horrible moments. The key
to avoid or get over these horrible moments are:

1. Compliment her

The fact is most people are shy about meeting new
people. I used to be enormously shy. But when you
think about it, shyness is merely a fear that
others won’t like you, or that you may be
rejected in some way. It’s natural for us to
desire acceptance. So try to make her know that
you like her by making a compliment. But find
something that you really find attractive about
her, about her lifestyle or her personality.  She
will become more confident and more open to share
her believes and her shyness won’t be a problem
for a fluid conversation.

2. Asking open questions

How you ask questions is very important in
establishing a basis for an effective
communication. Effective questions open the door
to knowledge and understanding. The art of
questioning lies in knowing which questions to
ask when.

My favorites questions are “why” and “how”
questions. You can use these frequently without
being annoying. She will feel that you are
interested in what she is telling you and will
develop her answers.

Therefore, you should think carefully before
speaking and taking up subjects that might be
repugnant to her.

3. Listen, listen, and listen.

Usually when the woman starts talking about her
favorite subjects (feelings, family,
relationships, friends and her work) many men
lose interest or bring the conversation back to
themselves. This is one of the biggest mistake
men are doing all the time.

They also like to exchange jokes and anecdotes
and spend a fair amount of time playing one-up
and boasting. Stop doing that!!!

Allow HER to have HER points of view, while you
have yours. Men have felt like they have either
had to abandon their own beliefs in order to try
to get a woman, OR they had to fight with women
about what they believe in. Both approaches lead
to failure.

She is not there with you just to hear about your
hero “qualities”, but to have a great time!

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